Self-Sabotage & People-Pleasing Self-Check

Self-Sabotage & People-Pleasing Self-Check

Could some of the patterns you’ve learned to live with be holding you back or making it difficult to put yourself first?

Before You Begin

Sometimes we develop ways of thinking, behaving and responding that once helped us feel safe, accepted or in control — but over time, those same patterns can begin to get in the way of what we really want.

This self-check is designed to help you notice two common patterns: self-sabotaging behaviours and people-pleasing behaviours.

Important: This questionnaire is for educational and self-reflection purposes. It is not a medical or psychological diagnosis. Your results are simply an opportunity to pause, reflect and become more aware of your patterns.

For each statement, select the answer that best describes how often you have experienced it during the past month.

  • 0 → Not at all
  • 1 → Occasionally
  • 2 → Sometimes
  • 3 → Often
  • 4 → Very often / almost always
0 of 20 questions answered
Please answer all 20 questions before viewing your results.

Part 1: Self-Sabotaging Patterns

These questions explore patterns that may sometimes get in the way of your goals, opportunities, confidence or progress.

Part 2: People-Pleasing Patterns

These questions explore patterns around boundaries, approval, conflict, guilt and putting other people's needs before your own.

Your Self-Check Results

Your results highlight the patterns you reported most frequently. They are not labels — simply areas you may want to become more aware of.

Self-Sabotaging Patterns

0
out of 40

People-Pleasing Patterns

0
out of 40

Your Self-Sabotaging Pattern

Your People-Pleasing Pattern

What If You Recognise Yourself in Both?

It's possible to recognise yourself in both sets of patterns. Sometimes the two can even reinforce each other.

For example, you may put other people's needs first while putting your own goals on hold. Or you may worry so much about getting something wrong or disappointing someone that you avoid taking action.

Rather than judging yourself for these patterns, consider becoming curious about where they came from and what they may be trying to protect you from.

Some questions to reflect on:

  • Where did I learn that keeping everyone else happy was more important than listening to myself?
  • What am I afraid might happen if I put myself first?
  • What opportunities might I be holding myself back from?
  • What would change if I trusted myself a little more?
  • Where could I practise saying no without feeling that I have to explain myself?

You Don't Have to Judge the Pattern to Change It

Awareness is often the first step. Once you begin to recognise the patterns that are influencing your choices, you can begin to explore what sits underneath them.

If you'd like some support exploring what your results may mean for you, you can book a 30-minute consultation with Rachel.

Book a 30-Minute Consultation

This self-check is intended for reflection and education only. It does not provide a clinical diagnosis or replace professional medical or mental-health advice.